The Battle for Mickey Mouse
by Scottenkainen
Summary: When Mickey Mouse wants to join a superhero group, the strangest custody battle of all time ensues. Who will get him the Justice Society of America, or the Guardians of Disneyland City?


January 23, 1956. Monday evening at the Superhero Clubhouse, Disneyland City.

"As rotating chairperson of the Guardians, I call this meeting to order," Miss America declared. "I'd like to extend a hearty welcome to all our guests," she said as she waved graciously to the throngs of people.

The lounge of the Superhero Clubhouse had been converted into a formal-looking meeting room, so the Guardians could hold non-secret meetings in the public eye. The glass partition separating the meeting room from the standing-room-only viewing area was bulletproof and virtually soundproof, but speakers carried Miss America's words to the assembled admirers.

"I'd also like to thank Superman for coming," Miss America added. "Although Superman was never officially indoctrinated into the Guardians, we appreciated his help during his short relocation here to Disneyland City. Perhaps an item of new business will be adding Superman to our role call…?"

Blue Beetle, Wildcat, Dr. Eternity, and Scotty Thunder all joined Miss America and Superman in smiling for the audience – some smiled more than others.

"But first," Miss America continued, "any old business?"

"I'd like to thank everyone who was here last meeting," Dr. Eternity said, "and helped us hash out the abbreviated version of Robert's Rules of Order that we're using now. While I don't agree with the complaint Mr. Terrific gave us before he went into space, that Robert's Rules are elitist, I do echo his sentiments that our time is too valuable for too much formality, and Wildcat's suggestion that the proceedings here should be kept moving as we expect our audience to keep moving."

"As long as I still get to pound the gavel when it's my turn," Wildcat said, still grinning.

Scotty Thunder looked up from a copy of the last meeting's minutes and appeared overwhelmed. "Boy, I miss one class and I wind up with homework. Do I have to memorize the new rules?"

"Since attendance isn't mandatory," Miss America pointed out, "there's no penalty for not knowing the rules yet. If you'd like to stay 'after class', Scotty, I'm sure someone can bring you up to speed. No more old business? New business?"

"I would like it on record," said Blue Beetle, "that Capt. Comet, Dynamic Man, Batman, Mr. Terrific, the Ray, Capt. Marvel Jr., and Mary Marvel have not yet found a way to contact us from the Alpha Centauri system."

"I can assure everyone they are not dead," Dr. Eternity said matter-of-factly. His expertise in mortality went unchallenged.

"Our prayers go out to them," Miss America said.

Other reports followed. Blue Beetle spoke of the need to coordinate and strengthen ties with the Los Angeles police force, perhaps posting a liaison from the team to their department. Dr. Eternity detailed his own efforts to clean up the remnants of Moriarty's Gang. Then it was Superman's turn.

"Thank you," Superman said when he had the floor. "It's a pleasure to be here – a great pleasure indeed because of the news I've brought with me. I came here today to inform the Guardians, and the people at large, that the Justice Society of America is not dead. It's true that our organization has been waning these past few years, but the need for it has never gone away. Five of us will be active members in the revived Justice Society – Batman, Aquaman, Green Arrow, Wonder Woman, and me," Superman said.

"What about your son, Superboy?" Scotty asked.

"I'm leaving that up to him," Superman said. "He's even expressed interest in remaining here with the Guardians."

"Active members?" Dr. Eternity echoed sarcastically. "That should be quite a trick for Batman."

"Batman has decided to make it publicly known that his replacement is in space, and the original Batman has decided to end several months of leave and come back to his mission full-time," Superman said, quoting a prepared statement. "Like the Guardians, we hope to be able to accomplish more with a leaner team and, also like the Guardians, we plan to make membership open --"

Superman was interrupted, as Mickey Mouse strolled into the meeting room.

"Hey! How are you doing, Mickey?" Scotty, a big fan, called out.

Dr. Eternity shook his head upon seeing Mickey and said, "This room is closed to non-members and uninvited guests – has anyone figured out if Mickey can understand us or not yet?"

"More importantly, how did he get in here?" Blue Beetle asked. "That door is locked," he said, pointing to the portal through which Mickey had apparently just arrived, though no one had seen him do so.

"This must have something to do with his next cartoon re-enactment," Miss America said. "I believe it's The Barnyard Battle.'"

"So what is the battle?" Wildcat asked. "Mickey vs. Superman?"

"Actually, we have been waiting for this particular re-enactment for some time," Miss America continued. "When Mary Marvel first came to Disneyland City, she mistook Peg Leg Pete for a more threatening menace and hit him with too much force. Pete dissipated, and has been missing from every re-enactment since. In this cartoon, Pete would be part of an army of cats. Without Pete, we were unsure if the other cats would appear or if the re-enactment would be radically changed by his absence. Superman, would you assist me in a quick sweep of the city for any new living cartoons?"

"I'll take the east side?" Superman asked as Miss America unlocked the room. Then they both disappeared, moving out of the room at superhuman speed.

"That leaves the rest of us to deduct what Mickey wants from us," Blue Beetle said.

Indeed, Mickey had been hopping back and forth and waving at the others for the last minute. They had thought at first that Mickey was just excited, but it was becoming clear that he was trying to gain their attention about something.

"What are you trying to tell us, Mickey?" Wildcat asked.

Mickey jumped up onto the table, stuck out his chest, and proudly stuck his thumb out at it.

"I think he's trying to ask us to join," Blue Beetle said.

Mickey Mouse spread out his hands and smiled, as if expecting applause. Instead, the assembled Guardians just sat and stared at him for a moment.

"I…think you're right," Dr. Eternity agreed.

"Just let me know when I get to second it," Scotty said excitedly.

Miss America and Superman jogging back into the room. "Neither of us saw any sign of new cartoon animals," Miss America reported, "and Minnie and Kat are both still in their rooms."

"We may have a new problem," Blue Beetle told them, and he began to fill the two team leaders in on what they had learned. "Our charter," he further reminded them, "says we are open to any members who can prove they have performed more than one samaritan act outside of gainful employment in which there was an element of danger."

"Yes, Mr. Terrific and Capt. Comet wanted to be all-inclusive," Dr. Eternity said with a note of reproach in his voice. "But does that really apply to Mickey Mouse?"

"He did help the Phantom and Sheena subdue Kat Nipp when Kat ran amuck at giant size last month," Wildcat offered.

"But was there an element of danger?" Blue Beetle asked.

"If the living cartoons can be destroyed, there is an element of danger," Miss America said.

"Then what of the samaritan nature of the act?" Blue Beetle continued. "If Mickey here is only reacting to some sort of magical programming when he re-enacts his cartoons, then is he consciously doing a good deed?"

"An interesting question, coming from you," Dr. Eternity said. He was not about to reveal in front of their audience how a mind-controlled Blue Beetle had attacked him just months ago.

"There are practical issues to consider here," Miss America said. "We wanted to study this magical phenomenon more, and if we kept Mickey Mouse with us, he would be easier to monitor and observe."

"What about when the Guardians are in danger?" Superman said. "Will Mickey be able to defend himself, let alone be useful to you in a dangerous situation?"

"Anyone this side of you and the Marvel Family are capable of being overwhelmed in a dangerous situation," Dr. Eternity shot back.

"Heck, I'm just a boxer in a cat suit," Wildcat said quietly.

"And you guys let me hang around," Scotty chimed in. "And, really, how much danger do any of us expect to be getting in? Sure, we've had some adventures lately, but – Miss America? Blue Beetle? You two have been semi-retired since '48. Dr. Eternity here did the same in '49 when he was still going by 'Kid' Eternity."

"Yeah…I almost hung up my gloves and whiskers back then too…" Wildcat glumly confessed. Everyone else had winced a little too.

"It's true," Miss America said. "You are one of the most dedicated men I have ever met, Superman, but the rest of us can't keep up. Oh, we put on our costumes for public meetings to please the crowds. Every once in awhile a crisis comes up that needs us – that lulls us out of thinking of retirement. We Guardians are a bunch of part-timers – not like what the Justice Society of America used to be. Mickey Mouse would be safer with us."

Gradually, each hero noticed the sound of chanting. It was coming from behind the glass partition that separated the crowds touring the clubhouse from the Guardians' meeting. Everyone on the other side, adults and children alike, were shouting, "Keep Mickey Mouse! Keep Mickey Mouse!"

The six assembled superheroes stood there and stared for a moment. For people accustomed to hero worship, they were surprisingly unprepared for this public adoration of the plucky little cartoon hero.

"Well," Miss America said at last, "we have heard the will of the people. I suggest we vote now."

It was unanimous. Mickey Mouse was approved. The crowd outside cheered. Mickey Mouse jumped up on the table and shook his clasped hands to the crowd.


End file.
